I Hate Flying
by ButtonsMagoo
Summary: The real reason why Howard hates flying so much. Oneshot.


**Hey! (:**

**I got the Idea for this yesterday whilst watching 'Air crash investigation' with my dad.**

**Warnings – Mentions of a plane crash, It's not gory or detailed, I don't like detailing things like that but it may upset anyone who lost someone in that way, hopefully no one has!**

**There's a surprise for you all at the end (:**

**Disclaimers – I don't own the genius that is The Mighty Boosh but I do know who those charming fellows are who do own it; Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding – Gods!**

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**Howard's POV**

I'd always hated the idea of flying right from the day I was born, okay maybe not from the day I was born but I'd always hated it none the less, I wasn't like normal kids who had Aeroplane toy or car toys I had musical instruments, bookmarks (which I collected) and Jazz vinyl's and the occasional tape if I was lucky, ordinary boy things just didn't take my fancy I didn't have ordinary boy ambitions; " I want to be a fireman when I'm older." Some boys in the playground would say, "I want to be a mechanic, I want to be a _pilot_" Aeroplanes, or metal birds, I hated them and my hatred was soon to grow stronger.

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"Howard! Howard!" Vince shouted bounding in like a big blueberry ice-lolly with a sparkly purple stick waving two piece of paper about in excitement.

"What is it little man" I asked him, approaching to where he's sat on the sofa, he thrust one of the pieces of paper into my face, I took it and read the words that detailed what it was, a plane ticket to Spain, I shuddered as memories tried to force their way to the front of my mind, I shook my head trying to push them back.

"We're going on hol-i-day!" Vince shouted, strangely pronouncing each syllable in 'holiday' I just threw the ticket on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen only glancing back momentarily to Vince sat, confused although it wasn't hard to get him into that state, I scouted through the cupboards in search, I wasn't sure what but I didn't want to speak about the tickets, but of course Vince came walking in looking slightly hurt.  
"What's wrong? Don't you want to go on holiday?" He asked, perching himself on the kitchen table and nibbling on a bit of bread he'd left at breakfast.

"No its not that I don't want to go on holiday its just, I don't want to fly." I said sighing, he knew I was scared of flying but didn't know why and took me for a 'wuss' or a 'pansy' He put the bread down and jumped up.

"Not this again? Howard your 35, why are you scared you're supposed to be a grown up only children and the weird are scared of planes!" I couldn't believe it he'd toed the imaginary line my blood began to boil well not so much boil as simmer gently.

"You really want to know why I hate flying so much." I shouted, causing Vince to slightly step back before he shouted back.

"I do yes!"

"This sir is a story that will chill you to the bone, once you've heard this you'll never be the same in the head again, this sir is-" I began but was interrupted.

"Just get on with it." He said bored taking his seat back on the table.

**25 years previous, no POV.**

It was July 16th 1983 and British summer had yet again been disappointing and was forecast the same throughout August, Howard was 10 and had never been abroad and today he was going to be forced onto an aeroplane and flown into a foreign land; Spain to be exact, apparently he had a Spanish inheritance from my Grandma and was going to visit her for the very first time. Reluctantly he went and at noon on that day set of on the British Airways airbus.

The aeroplane was taxing down the runway at a slow and steady 5 miles per hour occasionally creeping up to 8.

"Mummy, why are we going slowly?" Howard asked his mother, clutching onto her hand in fright; his knuckles white.

"Well, this is a big plane and it can't go fast around the corners or else it'll fall over when we get to the runway we'll go fast, don't worry." Matilda Howard's mother said, Howard panicked slightly; 'fall over?' that was the only thought that was flooding into his mind, 'what if we do fall over? Oh god, I'm sat at the window!'

"Don't worry yourself son, we'll be off the ground and in Spain before you know it." Came a deep voice from in front, his father, Richard sat with the youngest of the Moon siblings, Jessie. Howard sighed, he had to grin and bear it, he was on the plane now and he couldn't get off a loud roaring began to sound from the sides of the aircraft Howard gripped on tighter to his mothers had and the arm rest on the other side as the plane began to speed up, he looked at the TV placed in the back of his fathers head rest and watched the little numbers at the top of the screen indicating ground speed; 100mph, 200mph, 400mph, 550mph It stopped Howard's eyes darted to the numbers on the other side, Altitude 30,000ft, they where along way from the ground.

The plane had been in the air for 30minuites and Howard was beginning to settle down and enjoy the flight, it wasn't bumpy apart from the odd bit of turbulence and the stewardesses were kind, they'd given him a colouring sheet of a bunny dressed like Biggles, the plane began to jolt again and the seatbelt sign came on with a 'ding'.  
"I'm sorry; we're experiencing slight turbulence, if you put your seat belt on would cabin crew also do so, thank you." Came the captains voice over the speakers, Howard abandoned his colouring sheet, folded up the table and did up his seatbelt, he looked out the window and watched as the planes wings tilted up and down, mesmerised by them he fell into a deep sleep, unbeknown to him of the chaos and panic that would soon erupt.

The turbulence became increasingly strong and severe the plane rocking from side to side up and down screams echoed through the cabin as panic began to arise the plane started to loose altitude and was falling at an alarming rate, the plane had stalled, the pilots had no control, flight 129 was doomed.

Howard woke up almost a week later, he was greeted by beeping and white everywhere, the walls the ceiling the sheets even the people in the room where dressed in white even if their skin was tanned. A sharp pain surged up Howard's leg and he began to whimper causing a female occupant of the room to turn and smile at him.

"Oh usted es despierto cómo está usted sensación?" The woman spoke in a strange language that Howard couldn't understand; he just looked blankly at the woman.

"What?" He said hoarsely, the woman just chuckled and spoke in a think accent, Spanish.

"Oh sorry you're English huh? What I said was; oh you're awake how are you feeling? Sorry." Howard just smiled.

"I'm fine, what happened and why does my leg hurt?"  
"Oh, you're leg was burnt in the plane crash." She said pulling back Howard's bed sheets and examining his bandaged leg.

"Crash! Where are my parent's?" Howard asked he felt like he was going to cry.

"you and another man where the only two that survived, I'm sorry." The woman said, Howard really was going to cry, his parent's where dead and he was in a hospital far away from home. He hated flying.

**End flash back, Howard's POV.**

I looked at Vince who was still sat at the table, he'd stopped swinging his legs almost halfway through the story his head was now bowed down, his hair covering his face, it took him a moment or so to look up but when he did he had slight streaks of tears down his face and a look of guilt painted across his distinct pointed features.

"Howard, I, why didn't you tell me before!?" He asked in despair, jumping down from the table and walking up to me if it wasn't for the fact he had platforms on I'd have been looking down on him, I looked into his blue eyes and forced a small smile.

"You never asked me."

"But, I always though you're parents lived in Leeds!" I lied to him, it was a cover story, knew he was an orphan but I didn't want him knowing I was too.

"It was a cover up, I don't like people knowing, only you know." I said gripping onto Vince's arms, I brushed the damp hair from out of his eyes and out of sudden impulse I planted a soft kiss on his forehead, he jumped back startled before leaning in close and planting on in return on my lips, I closed my eyes in delight, this was nothing like the one we shared at that so called birthday party of mine, this was special, he broke off and smiled.

"C'mon you! We've gotta get this tickets exchanged you like Ferry's don't you?" Vince asked, I nodded in agreement as Vince grabbed my arm, the tickets and the coat and rushed me out the front door and down to the travel agents. I was finally going to get that trip to Spain I never had.

**I hope you liked your little surprise! (: Fluff! **

**And indeed I hope you enjoyed the story! Reviews of course are most welcome! :D**

**So go on… press that little 'go' button down there who knows maybe he'll give you a kiss**


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